Osborn Brewing Hop Farm Kickstarter Campaign

As the reigning Fresh Hop King of Ohio, I am very excited about the possibilities of Osborn Brewing’s Southwest Ohio Hop Farm Kickstarter Campaign:

“We are in the process of turning 86 acres of land into a hop farm. This will provide locally sourced hops to area brewers from the hobby to professional scale. This also means that when it comes time to harvest, brewers will have a source of fresh ‘wet hops’ to use in their seasonal brews. Part of the money raised by your backing will go towards making this a reality. By backing this project, you will help bring us closer to having 100% locally made beers in our area.”

 

A local hop farm would mean that I could get fresh hops from more places than the bike paths surrounding Dayton, and/or the indulgences of my neighbors. While both are certaqinly sources for fresh hops, something tells me that an actual hop farm would, in the long run, be far more helpful. Far more helpful. Thus, I went with the $100 pledge, mainly because it gets me a full pound of the first harvest of hops. Brent, can I trade the other rewards for another pound of those future hops? After all, that’s what I’m down for: the hops. As should all of you out there as well. So go check it out, and throw your support behind something that will help take local homebrewing to the next level.

 

Again, here is the link in case you missed it.

 

And Brent, why wasn’t making a fresh hop beer with me one of the potential rewards, you cheap bastard?

(4/4/2013)

2013: Small is the New Big

My beer-related hope for 2013: small becomes the new big. It is about time for American craft brewing to abandon the “bigger is better” model and stop trying to offer imperial versions of every type of beer under the sun. You know what a lot of residual sugar, a big sticky body, and alcohol covers over? Subtlety. Complexity. Flaws in the beer. Take your pick. This model, more than anything else, contributes to the Grand Canyon Effect in beer nerd circles: by making beer consumption the touristic equivalent of a novelty t-shirt, the goal is more about laying claim to having tried a particular beer than engaging the quality or merit of the beer itself. To quote my man György Lukács, it’s just more of that false consciousness stuff. I know, I know, the complicity. Which hurts. And even more disheartening: big beer fetishization is merely the illogical flipside of the domestic brewing most beer nerds so avidly rant and rail against. The only difference is that beer nerds are clamoring to get these beers while simultaneously proclaiming their perfection. I’d enjoy the irony, but it’s not ironic—it’s just stupid. Let’s get back to the craft in craft beer.

While I know better than to hold my breath, the small things give me hope. This year will see the second annual Session Beer Day on April 7th (see Lew Bryson’s The Session Beer Project for more). And I expect all of you out there to do your part as well. Ask for small beers. Drink small beers. Enjoy small beers. And, if you can, make small beers. I’m looking at you, McElfresh. Small things can come true. Here’s to the new big!

(1/9/2013)

Ring the Bells

This last weekend—Saturday, to be exact—what we’re drinking got hitched. I know, I know—it’s about time, right? So it’s now all official and the likes, what with the whole for better or for worse thing. And I can tell you all how that played out: I got the better and Elli got the worse. Or, as one of my cousins put it: “Thank you, Elli, for marrying into the family. You’re now part of the long term plan to make this family better through marriage. Because we need it.” Ah, family.

I’m also happy to report that we successfully avoided almost every single traditional component of the wedding reception—there was no mashing cake into each other’s faces, no bouquet or garter toss, no first dance, no kissing when glasses got chimed. You get the picture. Hey, if you like that stuff, good for you. But we don’t. So it got nixed. Thank goodness. There was, however, good food, ping pong, a personalized cornhole game we had made for the occasion (get your mind out of the gutter, pervert), and, not surprisingly, good beer. Basically, it was a large dinner party for all our family and friends, with bluegrass in the background provided by Ben Cooper and friends. So in other words, it was totally awesome. And as I’m hoping that you’ve guessed, the labels here are the beers we had on tap. Nice, huh? We closed out the Bam Biere and the Hazed and Infused, and got about 2/3s of the way through the Old Rasputin. And if everything works out according to plab, the rest of that will get consumed at the DRAFT meeting next Friday. Damn straight. Because we’ve got it like that.

Incognito Alter-ego

So we celebrated the 2-year Anniversary of the blog by disappearing for 2 months. I know, I know: the disappointment, the shame, the whole ethical bad faith thing. I could blame the disappearance of the free internet we were “borrowing” from our neighbor, or maybe the preparations for applying for tenure, or even trying to plan a wedding, or any of the other usual lame and self-serving excuses people of my ilk manufacture to rationalize their preening self-indulgences. But I won’t do that. Let’s instead pretend I was practicing my Hedonism Bot act, and claim that “I apologize for nothing!” while also noting, that if nothing else, we’re back. They’ll be a couple of things that will be back-posted, since, while incognito, I certainly didn’t stop brewing beer. Or having fun. Or being hedonistic. That would be ridiculous!

So, without further ado, on with the show!

The Final Tabulations

So here’s the final tabulations on a year spent drinking like royalty. While we may not have always remembered with perfection all of the beers we had (after all, any list like this is in some sense subjective), this is our best recollection. And if you don’t agree with our selections, remember: our knowledge of what we enjoyed is 100% accurate. NASA tests their instruments against our drinky-drink hi-jinx, and they always come up short. In other words, if you don’t like our list, go buy yourself a spritzer (sound of coin bouncing on the ground). And remember, these are listed in no particular order. We could have ranked them, but we didn’t want to confuse you with our awesomeness.

Top 10 Worst of the Year:
Finally, a beer from Great Divide that I don’t like. And yes, we realize that there are only 9 beers here—if you force us to choose another one, we’re just gonna choose your mother. We considered dropping the Heinnieweisse and the Lazy Boy, as our dislike was more based upon something having gone tragically wrong in the brewing process—after all, I’ve had Lazy Boy before, and it was much much better—but we decided to leave them in until they send us some free samples of better tasting beers.
Elysian Avatar Jasmine IPA
Trade Route Ginger Pale Ale
Saranac Summer Brew
Upland Helios Pale Ale
Great Divide Wild Raspberry Ale
Stegmaier Oktoberfest
Kona Wailua Wheat
Heinnieweisse Weissebier
Lazy Boy IPA

Top 10 Best Labels of the Year:
Some of these labels are downright classic—I’m talking to you, Long Trail. Thankfully, nothing this year really registered as one of the worst labels of all time. You remember that label, right? While Elli and I didn’t always agree on the sheer awesomeness of labels (ahem! she hates the Grifter label—ahem!), we did reach a general consensus that required some give and take. I’m just sad that we’ll never see the El Chupalupalo label ever again. Now that’s tragic.
Lagunitas El Chupalupalo Pale Ale
Long Trail Blackbeary Wheat
Bruery Saison de Lente
Genesee Bock Beer
Avery 17 Dry-Hopped Black Lager
Three Floyds Gumballhead Wheat
Southern Star Buried Hatchet Stout
New Glarus Fat Squirrel Brown Ale
French Broad 13 Rebels ESB
MacTarnahan’s Summer Grifter IPA

Top 10 Best of the Year:
While there were many, many beers that could have been in the top ten, statistically it just wasn’t possible to fit them all in. I know, I know: math. So cold and logical and unfair. I blame Copernicus. Or maybe Pythagoras. Whoever. But if you’re really worried about math and you’re reading this blog, I only have one piece of advice for you—shut the hell up and drink another beer. It’s our list.
New Belgium La Folie
Bell’s Two Hearted
Panil Barriquée 2005
Bruery Saison de Lente
Cuvée De Ranke
Russian River Pliny the Elder
Alaskan Baltic Porter
Port Brewing High Tide Fresh Hop IPA
Fantôme Biére de Saison Pissenlit
Brasserie à Vapeur Saison de Pipaix

So that’s what we got for you this year. Hope you enjoyed it. We sure did. Damn, is beer tasty stuff.